Sorry I’ve been busy…

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A radio silence can only mean one thing. My waiting game is over and I’ve had my baby!

Our gorgeous baby boy Adam arrived in the early hours of last Monday morning after a total of 23 hrs since my waters broke.

I had been planning a home birth for months and practising hypno birthing as well as yoga to help with relaxation and breathing for pain relief.

I had an amazing labour, that’s all I can say. The contractions did build in intensity but I felt so safe and relaxed in my own home, with a total of 3 amazing midwives over the course of the day and my amazing husband keeping me motivated and looked after.

I went from the yoga ball to tens at about 1pm, then got in the pool about 8 – the relief! – before deciding to honk on some gas and air at around 12midnight.

I loved the pool, set up in my nursery with fairy lights and soothing music. But after several hours in it the midwives encouraged me to follow my body, but the pushing/bearing down urge wasn’t strong.

They examined me and to my absolute horror I was not fully dilated, only 9cm and Adam was approaching from an awkward angle making the pain worse and the contractions less productive. They were amazed I had done that long without drugs but asked me to think about how long I had been labouring.

I weighed up how long I might have to go and in the end we decided to go to hospital for an epidural. Once there I couldn’t stay still for the epi and Adam had a wee drop in heart rate… A section was decided on.

The relief from the spinal block was unreal. The operation was standard and my experience has been fine… I have absolutely no regrets as this was the best delivery possible for me and my baby, who as it turned out was totally back to back!

Those hours I spent at home were some of the most profound and powerful of my life, the connection to my husband and my home were strengthened in a way I just don’t think would have happened in hospital.

Most importantly I do not consider this a ‘failed’ home birth. I might not have delivered at home but my labour is a wonderful memory I will always treasure. I marvel now at my own strength – meeting Adam at the end of it all was just out of this world and I wouldn’t change a thing.

I wanted to document this story and share it in case it inspires, comforts or reassures anyone. Maybe you’re thinking of having a home birth – I’d say go for it, don’t be nervous. It could be the most meaningful experience of your life. If there’s even a hint of need for you to transfer to hospital your midwife won’t waste a second. I didn’t deliver at home but I loved the security and familiarity that came with my labour.

And maybe you’re scared of labour. Don’t be. It’s an awesome experience – I felt so in control and able to just ‘blow the contractions away’ as a friend suggested. I used breathing techniques from yoga and hypno birthing to help and they really did – the first noise I made in pain was in the hospital just before they decided I needed a c section – 22 hrs in!

If I can do it, anybody can. I felt empowered and strong and I will always have that as my lasting memory. The operation was a blur, and recovery has been okay. I’m getting a bit stronger every day and being the mum of such a beautiful wee boy definitely helps.

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