Well, it’s been a wee while, no? Any wonder, when I’ve been busy learning to be a mummy to beautiful, perfect baby Adam.
He is 10 weeks old today and I have enjoyed a short hiatus from blogging, while I got to grips with having a new baby for the first time. To cut my own long story short, it’s been a total whirlwind of love, joy, cuddles, tears, hormones and ebay.
The green thing is going well – all the things we said we’d do are working out; the cloth nappies are wonderful (Adam’s skin is silky soft) and my home made baby wipes are excellent – we have bought two or three packets of disposable wipes and about 3 packs of disposable nappies since Adam was born. we have already saved a fortune, and I’m about to re-sell his first wee cloth nappies already! I will be keeping my favourite little cute nappy as a wee keepsake. I’ve also been able to pass on lots of his newborn sized clothes to other expectant mums, which feels nice.
We have made some amazing second hand purchases on Gumtree and eBay, like Adam’s bouncy chair where he naps during the day, and his baby swaddling blankets and later his sleeping bags – and of course nappies – my new obsession! My favourite purchase recently is the fab Ergo Baby organic carrier that I got on Gumtree second hand – it means I don’t have to lug the pram around each time I need to go out. Adam loves sleeping in the carrier up against me, and I love feeling him snuggling in while I plod around. It makes getting out of the house really easy and pleasant. After a c-section it’s a while before you can bear much weight so a sling or carrier is perfect. My recovery was ok, not easy but ok.
I read this recently, and a friend posted it on my Facebook today which spurred me to dust off the laptop and write something. Its true, I felt enormous pressure to ‘get out and about’ and be a model new mum straight away. Now I am happy to declare a duvet day if we’ve had a restless night (like today, we’re watching Fargo and having cuddles) as I know the time will soon come when Adam won’t let me hold him captive in my arms all day.
When I do go out I generally find it very easy to bring Adam to cafes and public places, and I no longer even bother with the breastfeeding cover that I bought – who cares about a wee flash of boob now and then? I’m just going with it. I was given a real baptism of fire last week when Adam had a mad screaming tantrum in the middle of Mimi’s Bakehouse, a popular cake place in Leith full of yummy mummies. My ladies from Pregnancy Yoga meet there every Friday and I was happily eating an excellent cheese scone when Adam suddenly burst into full on screams. I shushed, rocked, patted and swayed to no avail, and quickly felt colour rising on my cheeks as I noticed a few people looking over (none of the yoga mums batted an eyelid I must say, and I’m sure they were relieved it wasn’t their baby having a fit). One lady came right over and peered at me, then Adam, and pointed towards the ladies’ toilets saying ‘There is a corridor down there you can use’. I snapped at her that I was just about to go there, and stomped off with Adam still wailing. I spent a very unpleasant few minutes trying to calm him down – I even popped into the baby change room and tried to feed him – this usually cures anything – but he just wouldn’t stop!
Eventually I emerged, resigned to just grabbing our things and hailing a cab home, when a lovely lady appeared from the ladies’, and gave me so much sympathy and encouragement that I actually wept a wee bit with gratitude. She said she was a childminder and had four boys of her own. ‘It’s absolutely normal and you’re doing really well’ she said. At that moment Adam ceased his tantrum and pretty much passed out in my arms. I sagged with relief and joined the mums again, even finishing my scone before I headed home with Adam snuggled in the sling. It turned out the lady who’d directed me to the corridor was the owner of Mimi’s, and my Yoga chum says she passed comment about Adam and me after I’d left – ‘How can something so small make so much noise?’ and ‘It sounds like someone’s being murdered’. Well, thanks a bunch Mimi. Your cheese scones aren’t tasty enough to tempt me back again.
I feel I dealt with it really well but at the time I understood what it is to be a fussed out stressy mum. At the bus stop yet another woman who’d obviously witnessed it asked politely if he had cried himself to sleep. Yup, cheers for that.
So a duvet day seemed preferable to doing anything sociable today. I am needed by my baby so I’d better sign off. Before I go, here are a few pics.